I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
