I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
