You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
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