My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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