I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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