One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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