I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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