maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
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I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize