Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
