I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.