the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag