spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.