She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.