if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
How external is "for external use only"?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
