And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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