why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
