Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo

(918): View more from Oklahoma

Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought

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(405): I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo (918): Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought http://tfl.nu/a8il

Replies (33) Good night (1250) Bad night (2138)
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(646): View more from New York

so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"

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(646): so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper" http://tfl.nu/y6hx

Replies (9) Good night (745) Bad night (2405)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk

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(307): Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk http://tfl.nu/09b7

Replies (6) Good night (4242) Bad night (620)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?

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(803): Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass? http://tfl.nu/vxrr

Replies (16) Good night (1057) Bad night (2246)
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(519): View more from Ontario

yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?

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(519): yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem? http://tfl.nu/qi5q

Replies (5) Good night (2299) Bad night (615)
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(604): View more from British Columbia

Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.

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(604): Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl. http://tfl.nu/vf15

Replies (5) Good night (599) Bad night (1109)
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(919): View more from North Carolina

Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week

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(919): Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week http://tfl.nu/ejf9

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(512): View more from Texas

I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?

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(512): I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts? http://tfl.nu/sh8w

Replies (13) Good night (1215) Bad night (1289)
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(+61): View more from Australia

I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die

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(+61): I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die http://tfl.nu/r2qr

Replies (18) Good night (1120) Bad night (698)
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(631): View more from New York

She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.

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(631): She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real. http://tfl.nu/p8fj

Replies (21) Good night (4818) Bad night (769)
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(720): View more from Colorado

You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.

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(720): You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist. http://tfl.nu/dze0

Replies (10) Good night (1692) Bad night (463)
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(515): View more from Iowa

You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.

(1-515): View more from Iowa

Any good?

(515): View more from Iowa

Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point

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(515): You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka. (1-515): Any good? (515): Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point http://tfl.nu/htpx

Replies (2) Good night (1106) Bad night (293)
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(719): View more from Colorado

I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.

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(719): I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared. http://tfl.nu/v8f7

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(714): View more from California

I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.

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(714): I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks. http://tfl.nu/v5vh

Replies (4) Good night (432) Bad night (290)
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(706): View more from Georgia

To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.

(1-706): View more from Georgia

You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.

(706): View more from Georgia

Touche.

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(706): To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid. (1-706): You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man. (706): Touche. http://tfl.nu/xj0m

Replies (4) Good night (945) Bad night (380)

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