Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE