Texts From Last Night

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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England

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  (303): Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England http://tfl.nu/wgnu
  Replies (63) Good night (16888) Bad night (1132)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?

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  (713): I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit? http://tfl.nu/mgmc
  Replies (78) Good night (745) Bad night (3006)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."

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  (206): you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing." http://tfl.nu/7ght
  Replies (16) Good night (5707) Bad night (980)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...

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  (703): something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas... http://tfl.nu/emnc
  Replies (18) Good night (913) Bad night (7460)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard

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  (240): taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard http://tfl.nu/hbi3
  Replies (36) Good night (8826) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup

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  (978): karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup http://tfl.nu/ujf4
  Replies (8) Good night (1596) Bad night (634)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.

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  (516): PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated. http://tfl.nu/z915
  Replies (4) Good night (1418) Bad night (512)
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  (516): View more from New York

  my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly

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  (516): my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly http://tfl.nu/e7hc
  Replies (6) Good night (1727) Bad night (1310)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.

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  (404): The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples. http://tfl.nu/02p9
  Replies (1) Good night (599) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future

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  (954): i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future http://tfl.nu/c3ju
  Replies (4) Good night (2110) Bad night (392)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome

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  (803): Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome http://tfl.nu/ce0s
  Replies (5) Good night (720) Bad night (269)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.

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  (916): Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened. http://tfl.nu/94yj
  Replies (4) Good night (1070) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.

  (682): View more from Texas

  That's completely alright, I do it a lot.

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  (817): Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself. (682): That's completely alright, I do it a lot. http://tfl.nu/7is7
  Replies (5) Good night (608) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?

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  (850): Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'? http://tfl.nu/7fyz
  Replies (1) Good night (326) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours

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  (303): Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours http://tfl.nu/pdaj
  Replies (0) Good night (390) Bad night (164)

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