one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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