This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend