I don't think brook has ever known best
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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