"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize