dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
organizing the empties. That sober.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
