Duck Duck Cougar?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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