I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
