Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
