i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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