he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
