Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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