I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
