i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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