I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
