sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
