Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
