I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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