pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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