Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
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