i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
