sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
