ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
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