The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
