There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
