she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I deserve this hangover.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
