I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
