I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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