Texts From Last Night

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  (765): View more from Indiana

  just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.

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  (765): just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away. http://tfl.nu/4aee
  Replies (25) Good night (1805) Bad night (912)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???

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  (404): I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone??? http://tfl.nu/6a5o
  Replies (30) Good night (1059) Bad night (4715)
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  (310): View more from California

  Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.

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  (310): Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me. http://tfl.nu/e0xw
  Replies (57) Good night (3965) Bad night (781)
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  (718): View more from New York

  Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.

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  (718): Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex. http://tfl.nu/mdk4
  Replies (14) Good night (4991) Bad night (702)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  She's allergic to latex.

  (678): View more from Georgia

  Lucky bastard.

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  (703): She's allergic to latex. (678): Lucky bastard. http://tfl.nu/kpxi
  Replies (30) Good night (5903) Bad night (1703)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.

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  (830): Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk. http://tfl.nu/y7vc
  Replies (15) Good night (1470) Bad night (3895)
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  (707): View more from California

  come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.

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  (707): come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you. http://tfl.nu/6h34
  Replies (17) Good night (2189) Bad night (2656)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.

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  (912): Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch. http://tfl.nu/z7wv
  Replies (7) Good night (3249) Bad night (820)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.

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  (405): All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head. http://tfl.nu/p2id
  Replies (2) Good night (610) Bad night (341)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I'm trying to hide in the table.

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  (973): You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man. (201): I'm trying to hide in the table. http://tfl.nu/7531
  Replies (1) Good night (542) Bad night (431)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder

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  (317): So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder http://tfl.nu/lnpc
  Replies (0) Good night (351) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash

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  (847): Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash http://tfl.nu/hj9z
  Replies (1) Good night (628) Bad night (401)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..

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  (440): Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix.. http://tfl.nu/v9u4
  Replies (1) Good night (325) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.

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  (940): I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer. http://tfl.nu/cak3
  Replies (3) Good night (881) Bad night (376)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night

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  (914): I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night http://tfl.nu/5de7
  Replies (0) Good night (221) Bad night (222)

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