porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
27 Drunk People That Pissed Off The Cops And Got What They Deserved
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.