Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
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Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
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Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap