Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?

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  (503): do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice? http://tfl.nu/c0bh
  Replies (14) Good night (674) Bad night (5035)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.

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  (910): she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar. http://tfl.nu/ez5w
  Replies (26) Good night (3757) Bad night (996)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there

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  (770): it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there http://tfl.nu/89or
  Replies (36) Good night (1130) Bad night (7268)
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30

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  (615): It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30 http://tfl.nu/ukox
  Replies (15) Good night (6207) Bad night (1635)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel

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  (847): If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel http://tfl.nu/o4xc
  Replies (6) Good night (2590) Bad night (677)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.

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  (206): Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this. http://tfl.nu/t9dh
  Replies (4) Good night (2538) Bad night (1101)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.

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  (703): i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon. http://tfl.nu/dn2m
  Replies (15) Good night (1451) Bad night (1770)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?

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  (732): why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos? http://tfl.nu/di91
  Replies (14) Good night (3751) Bad night (861)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"

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  (509): So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila" http://tfl.nu/anii
  Replies (3) Good night (2137) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man

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  (914): How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man http://tfl.nu/szzb
  Replies (2) Good night (1286) Bad night (483)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  White people are beatboxing! Save me.

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  (415): White people are beatboxing! Save me. http://tfl.nu/ywqe
  Replies (4) Good night (675) Bad night (1152)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.

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  (206): Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious. http://tfl.nu/0zzq
  Replies (8) Good night (851) Bad night (462)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night

  (212): View more from New York

  Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate

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  (908): My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night (212): Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate http://tfl.nu/bmji
  Replies (4) Good night (1366) Bad night (474)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.

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  (785): Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas. http://tfl.nu/amy7
  Replies (6) Good night (955) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  make it buy you a drink first

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  (302): my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor (412): make it buy you a drink first http://tfl.nu/jxuy
  Replies (1) Good night (797) Bad night (346)

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