She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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