Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
