Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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