I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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