He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Randomize
