I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
