She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
