I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
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I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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