I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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