oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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