I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
