How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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