I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.