end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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