I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
