People in love make me want to vomit
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
