and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It's Friday. Sex?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
